multiplelolmovement

I came across this video on my buddy's Facebook page. Some guy posted this on his wall to promote the "talent" he discovered. Of course, the word "talent" even in the most sarcastic tone does not even begin to describe how brutally fucking awful this song is. Oh gee, I wonder why the fuck this girl wasn't already discovered? Oh wait, maybe it's because this may in fact be the worst musical effort I have ever heard in my life. Lyrics are ridiculously retarded, I can't even elaborate on how retarded they are, they're just... retarded. Or maybe they're genius? The lyrics do seem to accurately describe how my generation's female club-going population seems to break down their nights. Maybe I'm not giving credit where credit is due? Maybe this is just one big satirical hoax? No. It certainly is not. I can't believe that I even considered that this song may have been produced in a satirical light. It's straight up garbage.
While the lyrics may have some humorously redeeming qualities to those who are bright enough to recognize them, the rest of the song sucks too. The beat sounds like jangly crap recycled from the early 90s. And her voice... my god... her voice... this is what truly sets this song apart. Her voice sounds like a medley of the voices of ten thousand beautiful angels playing the most wonderful harps up on their clouds in heaven- if of course, these angels were autistic and the harps were made out of the pissed-on shoestrings of all New York's homeless. During the bridge at 2:40, I wanted to smash my computer. During the a Capella last 10 seconds... I actually did.
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Wow, I just listened to this like 3 more times. I thought at first my computer audio might be out of tune. It's not. She's legitimately tone deaf. She may be the most tone deaf girl I've ever heard in my life. I think Helen Keller and William Hung could record a duet that sounds better than this crock of shit.

Sam: 10/16
Danny: 9/16

Suck my thang, bitch

Sam, quit using this blog to promote your hippie bullshit. We all know that regular use of pot makes people inefficient members of society, and if Oregon wants to become a fucking shit hole like California, with something like 93% unemployment, a 21 billion dollar deficit, the city of San Francisco, the Clippers/Kings/Warriors, political embarrassments Nancy Pelosi and Arnold Schwarzenegger (yeah, I criticize Republicans too! see post), and this lunatic, then by all means Oregon, legaliiiiiiiiize it.
Look, I'm all for freedom and people doing what they want- I'm a posterchild for such activity. I know that the government has all these secret plans, spending years trying to make pot a rich man's drug and out of the general public. I get that the pharmaceutical industry as a whole is corrupt and medical marijuana is sort of a slap in the face to them. I GET IT. I DO. But the last thing you guys want, is for fucking cigarette companies and drug companies to take your sacred pot and commercialize it, turning it into complete crap. Trust me.
What it comes down to though, is that people that regularly use marijuana are straight up lame-o's. More of a lame-o than I am for using that term, in fact. Only with regular pot use can you-
6. Enjoy Seth Rogan movies.
5. Become an NFL player, run over a man while drunk driving, and have the audacity to buy off the family.
4. Exhibit gratuitous appreciation of reggae. Honestly, you're pathetic.
3. Be the family of a man run over by a drunk and high NFL player, and be willing to be bought off.
2. Memorize all the words to Satellite. Fuck you Dave Matthews. Fuck you bros.
1. Defend drugs and say shit like pot isn't that bad. Sometimes you go so far as to claim that drugs have all these crazy benefits. No, they don't have benefits. They just make you temporarily enjoy your pathetic life, and when you come down, guess what... your life sucks even more. If you have any semblance of intelligence, you should try and embrace clarity a bit too. If you can find it in yourself to actually enjoy your life, unlike a high, that's something you can carry with you all the time.

And yeah dude, bro, maybe pot can increase your attention span and make music better, man. A lot of musical masterpieces were certainly created while high, sure, but when you think of Joe Strummer, Ian Curtis, and Kurt Cobain also remember that John Mayer smokes pot too. Strummer was lucky to live to 50. Curtis killed himself at 23. Cobain at 27. John Mayer is 32. I can only hope we don't have to put up with another 18 years of his arrogant gay douchebag acoustic Berklee ambiance blues crap. Fuck you John Mayer. Do us a favor and kill yourself sooner rather than later?

With that, ON TO THE PICKS-

Same guidelines as always
Using the Yahoo! lines...

Favorite Underdog Line

@Carolina vs Miami 3.0
@Dallas vs Washington 11.0
@Detroit vs Cleveland 3.5
@Green Bay vs San Francisco 6.5
Pittsburgh vs @Kansas City 10.0
@Minnesota vs Seattle 10.5
@NYG vs Atlanta 6.5
New Orleans vs @Tampa Bay 11.5
@Jax vs Buffalo 9.0
Indianapolis vs @Baltimore 1.0
Arizona vs @St. Louis 9.0
@Denver vs San Diego Off (0)
Cincinnati vs @Oakland 9.5
@NE vs New York (NYJ) 10.5
Philadelphia vs @Chicago 3.0
@Houston vs Tennessee 4.5

Year Record: 75-68

Nation's 1st Cannabis Cafe Opens In Portland

A coffee shop in Portland, Oregon is the nation's first marijuana cafe where certified medical cannabis users can come to get the drug and smoke it, as long as they stick to state law and smoke out of public view.

Cafe Rumpspankers, which will soon carry the name Cannabis Cafe, is testing a new relaxed policy by President Barack Obama regarding medical marijuana users. The policy, handed down by the administration in October, restricts federal attorneys from prosecuting patients who use the drug for medical reasons and dispensaries in states that have legalized them.

It's not just California anymore, y'all.

Using the Yahoo! lines...

Favorite Underdog Line

@Carolina vs Miami 3.0
@Dallas vs Washington 11.0
@Detroit vs Cleveland 3.5
@Green Bay vs San Francisco 6.5
Pittsburgh vs @Kansas City 10.0
@Minnesota vs Seattle 10.5
@NYG vs Atlanta 6.5
New Orleans vs @Tampa Bay 11.5
@Jax vs Buffalo 9.0
Indianapolis vs @Baltimore 1.0
Arizona vs @St. Louis 9.0
@Denver vs San Diego Off (0)
Cincinnati vs @Oakland 9.5
@NE vs New York (NYJ) 10.5
Philadelphia vs @Chicago 3.0
@Houston vs Tennessee 4.5

Year Record: 85-58

-Sam

Welcome to the Multiple lol Movement. We hold your mind hostage the same way we'd all like to hold Ann Coulter hostage. We'd request a hefty ransom from Rupert Murdoch for Ann, but we'll let you view our blog for free. All in the spirit of the internet!

Warning: You may develop Stockholm Syndrome and fall in love with your witty and insightful captors. And if you look like Miss Coulter... well, we won't be too upset... it's better than we usually do. Say what you will, but oh c'mon, you know you'd let that uniquely attractive female Skeletor give you a ride...She'd probably shout Jesus' name during reverse cowgirl. But it's a compliment, you know, measuring up to that (fictional character).

You know what, screw an introduction post.

There's a god-damn Woot-Off!

Woot!